The Power of Small Steps
Small Steps
Have you ever been so low in life that you can’t see a way out? Or you can’t even imagine how to start climbing your way out of a hole you dug for yourself?
I distinctly remember a visual that I had in early recovery. It was a visual of me at the very bottom of a well, where I could see a little light at the top of the well but an excruciating climb to make it back up to the light. There are usually many negative consequences for addiction. We often have participated in behaviors that go against our value set – stealing, lying, manipulating, blaming… all the things. In early recovery, it was difficult for me to separate who I truly was as a human and the actions that I exhibited in active addiction. The shame I experienced during this time seemed insurmountable. There was also a path of destruction left behind by my addiction that seemed impossible to overcome. In moments like these, we have a choice to run from the shame or face the beast head on. I am so glad I chose to get in the arena and fight for a better life. Eight years ago, I never could have imagined a fulfilling life –Through focusing on the small steps, I have met and exceeded some of the goals I set for myself. I have learned to love and forgive myself. I have meaningful relationships and a successful career. Most importantly, I can be fully present and engage in these different aspects of life. These significant life changes only came to fruition by taking small, daily steps in the right direction.
It takes discipline to keep our minds focused on the here and now, but there are daily practices that we can implement to help. We, first, must make the commitment to stay in the present and be willing to challenge ourselves when our thoughts divert elsewhere. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, journaling, breathing techniques, and grounding exercises can be beneficial. We also can make a daily to-do list to ensure that we are staying present throughout the day, but only focusing on tasks that are right in front of us. It is here that we would consider a daily recovery plan (daily recovery readings, 12-step work, peer support meetings, etc.) Another helpful practice includes unplugging from technology and social media. It’s easy for us to get caught up in world news, politics, or even comparing ourselves to others when navigating social media sites. Unplugging makes it easier for us to stay focused on what’s most important.
When challenging ourselves to focus on small steps...
It is important to remember that we aren’t perfect.
When challenging ourselves to focus on the small steps, it is important to remember that we aren’t perfect. We might go through periods where our minds get a little “carried away” or we might get caught up worrying about the future. It’s imperative to show ourselves grace in these moments, while also challenging our own thoughts and bringing our focus back to the present. Eight years into recovery, I can still struggle to stay present. Life can present new opportunities. Life also can present setbacks and challenges. Through the ups and downs, there will be times when our minds will wander. Self-awareness, discipline, and accountability can help get us back on track. Also, it’s imperative to be mindful of the people who we allow to be a part of our inner circle. Not only do we benefit from the positivity of others, but we also thrive in relationships where healthy boundaries, accountability, and honesty is present. These types of connections are so meaningful, and they can also help foster personal growth.
Small, daily steps add up over time and often lead us to the most beautiful destinations, possibly destinations that we never imagined for ourselves. Those small steps are powerful and pave a pathway to success and happiness. Take your time. Stay focused on the process. Most importantly, be kind to yourself throughout the journey and remember that you are worth the hard work.
Written by: Kelly King, PhD, LAC, LPC, C-DBT