When the Hard Thing is the Right Thing: Spending the Holidays in Treatment
“It’s okay to feel sad after making the right decision.” - Unknown
Eight years ago, I sat in a small office with my parents 2 ½ hours from home to enter a residential treatment program right before the holidays. I was broken, hopeless, fearful, and overly tearful. It’s never easy to ask for help for an addiction issue, and it is especially challenging to willingly enter treatment right before the holidays. Trust me, spending the holidays away from my loved ones and family traditions was not exactly what I had in mind. I was desperate for a positive change in my life and willing to sacrifice spending the holidays at home in order to make those changes.
There was an element of selfishness in my mentality during that time. Yes, of course I was in emotional turmoil and had fear of the unknown of treatment and my future. What I didn’t consider was the pain and devastation experienced by my loved ones watching me experience that anguish. However, I think there was also relief and hope on behalf of family members… hope that a better life was on the horizon.
We experience moments like this throughout our lives… moments where we are faced with hard decisions that appear to be lose-lose. Decisions that will inevitably inflict pain, no matter which choice we make. I read a quote the other day that said, “It’s okay to feel sad after making the right decision.” This quote rings so true. Sometimes, we have to be patient and let the journey unfold before we can truly be grateful for that hard (but right) choice. It wasn’t until years later that I could reflect on the decision to enter treatment in November 2013 with a heart full of gratitude and self-appreciation. Sometimes the hard thing is the right thing. It’s okay for decisions to be both. I now can see that that hard decision was one of the best of my life.
Usually, our experience spending the holidays in treatment is all about perspective. In a way, it is also about sacrifice. Would you be willing to sacrifice one holiday season in treatment if that meant all future holidays would be sober holidays? Holidays where you could be fully present with loved ones and actually share in the joy of the season?
It truly is a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things. In my experience, I believe spending the holidays in treatment humbled me. I was able to acknowledge certain privileges of mine that others did not have. I learned the spirit of the season is actually about giving love and support to others. I gained a true appreciation for small family traditions that seemed somewhat insignificant or mundane before. It truly challenged the self-centeredness that landed me in treatment to begin with. Ultimately, I learned that the hard (but right) decision to enter treatment was possibly the best Christmas gift of all. Not just for me, but also for the people who loved and cared about me.
If you find yourself pondering entering treatment during the holidays, I ask you to consider your perspective. This decision goes beyond today or tomorrow. Consider it an investment in your future self. It might just be the best gift of not just this year, but of your life!
Written By: Kelly King, PhD, LAC, LPC, C-DBT