On Being A Wounded Healer
Working in the field of substance use disorder treatment has taught me many things, not the least of which includes the importance of doing my own inner work. This is critical, not only for myself but to show the people we are helping the I am also “walking the walk.”
If I am not okay, I am not much good to others.
We’re all a work in progress, always, in this human experience. We never fully “arrive,” so-to-speak. However, if I don’t continue to process and look at the things which steal my joy or my peace, it is quite difficult to emanate the possibility of joy and peace to those we serve. This is a “positive” definition of being selfish… a form of enlightened self-interest perhaps.
Many people who come through our treatment program are parents, and they want desperately to get sober and remain sober in order to be there for their kids, because they love them so much. And of course they do – the love is always evident. As a fellow parent, I can very much relate to this. And yet, I’ve seen it play out over and over again… until that parent wants to be sober for themselves, and does the inner work, that motivation is unfortunately, ultimately, not enough.
We have to do it for ourselves, then the rest falls into place and we can be there for the people we care about. Attending social work school drilled this into me for sure, as we had to reflect on our own family dynamics, childhood trauma, etc. This wasn’t easy, and it’s still a journey. The very reason I entered this work stemmed from surviving a personal existential crisis a number of years ago and then realizing I was not alone. Others were going through the same thing, and they needed support, insights, hope, and empathy.
Those with lived experience, whether in recovery from addiction or from mental health struggles, or survivors of other really difficult circumstances – we are the Wounded Healers. We’re here alongside you, meeting you where you are while encouraging next steps in the journey.
The best thing we can possibly do to assist in healing our own wounds (while continuing the inner work) is to reach out and help someone else. May this effort have a cascading effect in our community and in the world.